A Choice
by trinity-frost
Summary: military life is hollow, the blood of others in your weapons, two people come together to get rid of the feelings of guilt, when this ritual turns into something more what will they do. A short fic on what happens when squall and selphie see each other in


 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them, please enjoy^ ^.

              A drug, a love, a choice. 

          Squall briefed the headmaster on the mission, describing the trap, the hostages and that they had casualties. Squall stood and saluted before leaving, outside Rinoa waited for him, smiling proud at his accomplished mission. Squall gave her a quick kiss before wrapping an arm around her as they walked to the elevator. 

"So squall I heard you did a great job on the mission." she told him happily as always. I wonder who she talked to? Zell, or Selphie, he thought as they rode down, with her talking about whatever it was she was talking about.

"Squall? Are you listening?" she asked putting her hands on his arm. Snapping out of it, he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking. What were you saying?" he asked, he didn't want to make her feel bad, it would just add to the guilty feeling he was already having. She gave a reassuring smile as she told him to forget it.

"Its not important anyway." she told him, he's probably too tired from the mission to go out with us anyway.....but maybe I should ask just in case, she thought. 

"Well, if you want, we could all go out tonight. To celebrate you guys coming home safe and sound." she told him as they entered the cafeteria. 

"No, Rin I'm tired." he stated as they reached the table. Rinoa smiled at him sweetly, she inwardly giggled because she was starting to really get him.

"So who's going then?" Irvine asked when everyone had arrived.

"Yo! Count me in!" he said, loudly as he pumped his fist. 

"I'm so tired guys. I can't." Selphie explained. Rinoa looked towards squall, when he nodded his head with a small up lift of his lips, she gave them a yes. 

"I'm going; I need to get out of the classroom." Quistis said.

  


      Later that night after the four of them left, squall walked back to the dormitories, his mind disturbed and unsettled as he thought about the mission. He killed some many this time, sure he saved a city but he also killed a lot. He needed to talk to someone; there was only one person who he could relate this feeling to. So he walked to where she was. He knocked on the door. 

"Coming" was heard through the door. Seconds later she opened the door, smiling a little she let him in. The smile was sad, and both of them felt that feeling right now. The room was dark, no lights were on, only the window shed some light and it wasn't much.

"Hey." he says to her as he grabbed her arm and pulls her towards him. She didn't struggle; she didn't try to fight it. 

"Hey" she replied, even softer than his tone. He gives her a kiss, his hand resting on the back of her neck; her hands on his shoulders, one resting on his cheek as he runs his fingers through her hair. They pull apart, the darkness in the room not bothering them. Comforting them as they separate and he pulls something out of his pocket. The pills were inviting as they rolled from side to side momentarily. Selphie takes the offered one and squall takes the other. They looked at each other as they fed each other the pills. 

               Looking at each other in the eyes they could feel the effects as it start to take over them. Squall stumbled towards her bed, he fell on the floor before he reached it. Selphie tumbled after him; crawling towards him she put a hand on his jaw line. His breathes ragged, as he took off his coat from the heat. Selphie followed suit by taking off her dress, the material constricting against her leaving on her bra she waits for him to get comfortable. Squall screams as he feels it get into his system, the heat burning him full force. Savagely he ripped away his pants, leaving his briefs on. Selphie shushed him as she crawled into his lap, the substances in her body controlling her. 

"Get ready, now the cold starts." he informed her as he tightened his grip, mild at first they tautened each others holds. The darkness in the room added to the atmosphere, tiredly for the moment they stagger into bed the sheets welcoming them as they slipped in. He looked at her, knowing she's sharing everything he felt, knowing she understood him like he understood her, he smiled at her, and she returned it fully. 

Silently she turned towards him, now it starts the best part, another world. She kissed him as she let herself be swallowed into his arms His hair falling over her face, the strands tickling and comforting her. Her hair was spread out all around her, her scent absorbed him; he breathed it in with greed. They looked around as some things grew in size and others disappeared. 

          The intense sensations of the drug affecting them both as they viewed the world full of butterflies and sunlight, so distant from the world they lived in, its distant engulfing them. She grabbed him in a fierce kiss, him returning it savagely. They danced with this world as they celebrated the one pure act they had done, made love. They were so tired, of fighting, killing. They were so alike it scared them, but no one else understood; the pain they shared it consumed them to the point of insanity. They needed the release. 

"I killed today." he slurred to his alter-ego, she nodded understandingly as she gripped his shoulders. The sheets covering them as they moved everywhere they could possible move.

"So did I" she equaled as he lifted her up into his arms, he danced with her as she played with his hair, his neck.....with everything. Giggling madly she threw her head back, the butterflies dancing wildly in front of her. 

"I saw them die." he topped sadly as he put her down, his eyes containing a sadness she knew well. She looked at him, her eyes the same as his as her head nodded up and down.

"I know squall, I know. So did I and it haunts me. It always does." she tells him sincerely as she holds him. Sliding to the floor she feels his tears on her shoulder, pulling away she looked at his face, the tears slid nonstop. She cradled his head on her chest, whispering words to him. 

"I'm so tired squall, so tired of having to pretend." she tells him before he leans in kissing her softly, her green eyes shutting. 

"I know Selp. I know, I'm sorry." he tells her, they start to kiss, the pills giving the ecstasy to feel it more intensely than ever, the sheets rolled and wrapped around them. Squall stops a second before entering her, right above her, she whimpers and then groans as she comes crashing into him. Wrapping her legs around his legs she pulls up as he stays still. He starts to meet with her, the drugs adding to effect, empowering them. 

      Hours later, the room starts to become normal. Squall disentangles himself from Selphie, waking up she watches him. The movements careful as he reached into the drawer, Selphie frowned.

"Would you?" he asked her, his back turned towards her, he hears the rustled sheets, steps nearing until he felt her hands around him. In one hand there was a needle; in the other there was a gun, would she? Would I? She thought as she looked over his shoulder, her small frame had to support itself on his to do so. 

"No, I could never." she told him. He looks puzzled as he looks on.

"Why?" he asked as he puts them back in the drawer before pushing it in, his hands rested on her cheeks as he waited for her answer. She chewed on her cheek as she thought on how to answer him. 

"I could never hurt them like that." she answered.

"We would end it." he said to her. 

"Yeah but they would know, and then the hiding and everything we've done would have been for nothing because we would probably hurt them even more than if we told them we were together." she told him. 

"I want to stop this, Selp." he told her softly as he kissed her neck.

"I...I..kn..ow, ..you...hav..to..give..it.ti.me" she told him, her strength wearing out. He pulls up as he studies her face.

"What about the drugs?" she asked. He studied her some more, his voice soft as he finally answered.

"Whatever you want to do?" he told her as he pulled her up onto the desk before kissing her. She moaned as she gripped his hair roughly, she pulled away.

"I don't want to anymore, it dulls some senses that I want to be able to use. Plus, I heard that it makes the organs lazy. If its this good when they are lazy, imagine what we could do completely awake" she told him hotly, before crashing down on him with her mouth. His blue-gray eyes became heavy as she did so, closing completely he listened to her breathing. 

"Okay, I'm not hooked to those things anyway, just to you...." he trailed off as she kissed his chest. 

"What about Irvine and Rinoa?" squall said, stopping her momentarily. She grew seldom for a few minutes. 

"I can't hurt him, he's sensitive, and underneath he just needs someone to tell him that he won't be alone. I....I told him I would never leave him alone." she explained as she rested her head on his stomach, he massaged her hair.

"Rinoa is a sorceress, she could.....I don't know." he said shaking his head. She tightened her grip on him as she thought about what she might do. Rinoa had become unstable over the past few months and everyone was just trying to make her feel normal. Squall kept massaging her head and she ran her hands over his abs as she thought. 

"I love you" she whispered before hugging him hard, squall smiled as he held on to her. 

"I love you, Selp." he whispered into her ear, before he carried her to the bed, climbing in he held her as she tried to sleep.

"That's all that matters right? Squall?" she asked silently as she thought over everything. 

"Yeah Selp. That's right." he murmured before he stuck settled into her arms and fell asleep. 

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there you have it, I wanted to write a squalphie so I did, it was supposed to be short, I was just trying something out. Please review and let me know if you liked it. Any comments or anything. Thanks for reading and hope it was enjoyed. 


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